HOME | PROFILE | CAST | PIX GALLERY | LINKS | ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
PINOY TEXT JOKES
DAD: (shouting to his bading son) Papasukin mo ang aso natin sa gate!
SON: Tagpi, Tagpi, pasok ka.
DAD: Takutin mo!
SON: Opo, Tagpi, Tagpi, pasok ka na, me mumu dyan!
EQUATIONS IN MATHOF LYF: smart man smartwman=ROMANCE; smart man dumb
wman=PREGNANCY; dumb man smart wman=AFFAIR; dumb man dumb wman=
MARRIAGE.
Pulis: bayad ko sa kape, o. Intsik: aba, bakit ka bayad? Pulis: utos na ni Lacson,
wala nang kotong. Intsik: aba cge, cmula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa kape mo.
Hi! Let's go out once, just you and me. I'll take you to places you've never been
before, see sights you've never seen before and share to you my wildest dreams.
BASTA ITATAKAS KITA SA ZOO.
DUCK DICTIONARY
maliit na duck - "panduck"
tirahan ng maliit na duck - "Pandacan"
mataas na duck - "boonduck"
nagulat na duck - "nasinduck"
photogenic na duck - "kodak"
malaking duck sa Ilocos - "dack-il"
madaldal na duck - "dakdak"
pantakip sa bibig ng madaldal na duck - "duck tape"
manggagamot na duck - "ducktor"
musikero na duck - "conducktor"
What makes people cute is that when they begin to care & show some concern to other
people...Sya nga pala, kumain ka na ba? wag kang magpapagod. ingat ka lagi...
i'll wrap my arms around u & squeeze u tyt 'til ur eyes pop out and all your bones
break & ur face turns blue! that's my gud morning hug, not as sweet but definitely
breathtaking!
church wedding ko by next month, pls don't tell da others yet, coz few lang r invited.
i'll send u an invitation. RSVP call meor my fiance.
SINCERELY,
Rosalinda
Good looks catch the eyes, but good character catches the heart and it's so
embarassing to say that i have.....both...KAINIS!!!!!!
grabe, i saw sam1 in d mol. so cute, gorgus, smart looking, so much lyk a CeLeBRITY....
gr.....paglapit ko...SALAMIN pala.
TV Host: Who's d woman u admyr most? ERAP: My Mom of course. She took care of
me in my INFANCY, also during my ADOLESENCE & he's still helping me n my
ADULTERY.
how i wish i could touch you, feel your body and to hold you with my hands. to kiss
your lips and to sip the tastiest part of you! I LOVE YOU my COCA-COLA, so refreshing!
there are three words that i don't usually say to just anybody, yet i choose to tell
you 'coz my heart says so...ANG CUTE KO!
no matter how sad, no matter how be, i feel better just thinking of you...but i'm
happier each time i send you a message 'coz i know i'll be DISTURBING YOU!
Der r times you're afraid, times you're confused, times u feel lonely, times u start
to cry, times u start to laugh...ABA! PADOKTOR KA BAKA NABABALIW KA NA!!!
5 reasons why i keep texting you:
1.) you made me feel welcome (i assume)
2.) you made me smile (that's true)
3.) you appreciate my thoughts (i hope)
4.) you spend time reading my messages (i guess)
5.) hindi ako kuripot
when you fell like nobody loves you and nobody cares for you and when you feel like
everyone is inoring you...Wala yun! ubos lang ang prepaid nila!
what do you do when you see an extremely cute person? ako, i stare at the person and
smile, but when i get tired, i just put the mirror down, nakakangawit eh!
anong animal ang hindi sigurado? eh di BAKA! ano naman ang pinutol? e di CAT! e ano
naman ang laging ayos? e di OX! ano ang laging nauuntog? e di DOG! e ano naman ang
pangit? e di COW!
if i were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD
LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=ME!
i live a very difficult life. i'm always hurt! whenever people call me CUTE, GOOD
LOOKING, SMART & LOVABLE, i'm always hurt! totoo pala, the TRUTH HURTS!
just got my medical exam results. malala ang sakit ko, everyday lalo akong
GUMAGANDA at wala raw gamot dito. but don't worry dahil di daw nakakahawa,
you're safe.
tuwing naiisip at nakikita kita...kinikilig ako! hindi madali aminin sayo ito...ang
cute mo & i really like you! haaaay...sarap mo nakawin sa MANILA ZOO!
Hi baby! how's my cute darling? how i've missed you! i missed kissing, cuddling &
smelling you! how's my pumpkin? is my baby hungry? have you eaten your PEDIGREE?
what is in your eyes that made me look at you the second time? what is it in your
eyes that made me smile and say...sabi na nga ba MUTA YAN! hilamos ka!
Flash news: ang pagkidlat, ulan, lindol at baha ay hudyat ng pagbabawas ng mga
panget sa mundo. ako buhay pa, worried akosa iyo! reply ka nga kung andyan ka pa.
Naglalakad Nagtetxt Nasagasaan PATAY! Kumakain Nagtetxt Nabilaukan PATAY!
Nagda-drive Nagtetxt Nabangga PATAY! May celfon Walang Nagtxt NAGPAKAMATAY!
A lizard fell on top of a table
UP: h, reptila scncidae!
ATENEO: ew, lizard!
FEU: Shit butiki!
LA SALLE: yuck, lacoste!
smetyms u myt catch me staring at u, it's nt bcoz ur cute, bt bcoz my mom told me
dat devils hav tails nd im 1dering wers urs.
ERAPS WISDOM:
1. Dnt judge a book 4 u r not a judge
2. Birds of d sme feathers r d sme birds
3. Tel me hu ur frnds r nd i'll tel u myn
4. An apple a day is 7 apples a week
ERAP ND LOI AT A SUPERMARKET
ERAP (nkati2g sa lata ng juice)
LOI: Ba't mo tniti2gan ang lata ng orange juice?
ERAP: Nkasulat sa label concentrate
Ang sakit parin ng loob ko sa iyo. Noong isang linggo ipinamalita mong ang cute-cute
ko. Kaya sabi ko bawiin mo 'yon. Anong ginawa mo? sinabi mong kasing-guwapo ko si
BRAD PITT? huwag ka sanang magsinungaling alam mong mas guwapo ako sa kanya DI BA?
SABI NG MGA BABAENG:
WALANG ALAM - Malay ko?
WALANG TIWALA - Malay ko.
CGURISTA - Malay natin!
MADAYA - Malay mo.
AYAW PATALO - Malay ko!
NABUNTIS - Wala kong malay! Wah!
Nalapnos kamay ni Erap pagkagaling sa Chowking.
ERAP: Pambihira, pinakain nyo ako ng noodles, ala tinidor malaki pa inyong toothpick.
W8R: Ano klaseng kanin po ordr nyo Mr. Pres? ERAP: Pinoy tyo e Plain rice.
W8R: wat abt viand sir? nagalit si Erap, Ano k b lam mo ng Pinoy tyo syempre,
ang VIAND k Pilipinas.
TCHR: Use fish and pepper in a sentence. ERAP: May I borrow a fish of pepper?
Palanding n ang pres'l plane. Napansin ng stewardes parang sumasakit tenga ni ERAP.
STWARDS: Sir, chewing gum para d sumakit ang tenga nyo.
ERAP after landing: Mis pano tanggalin ang chewing gum sa tenga ko?
Naki2paglandian si Erap s isang bbae s bar.
BBAE: Teka Mr. Pres alam mo bang lesbian ako? ERAP: ano b yung lesbian?
I luv 2 make luv 2 a sexy grl undres & kiss her.
Natuwa c Erap: wag kang magala2 lesbian din pala ako! Pareho tayo ng hilig!
Theme song of married:
1-10 years ARAW-ARAW GABI-GABI
11-25 years GAANO KADALAS ANG MINSAN
26 years & above MAALAALA MO KAYA
Iniabot kay ERAP ng kanyang personal secretary ang kanyang cellphone at sinabing
"Sir may voicemail ho kayo" ERAP: syempre! lalaki ako e alangang girls
mail ang akin!
kises blwn r kises w8sted kises rnt kises nles deyr tasted kises spread germs &
r h8d so kis me baby i'm vacinatd.
i like u, i adore u i feel you, i care 4 u, i cherish u, i wanna b w/u...DO I
GET A GIFT?
kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang
pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SuZUklian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE waht freinds
are FORD!
I may not be ur PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be ur COKE, only the
real thing; or ur NIDO, world's no. 1 but i can be ur REXONA I won't let you down.
When i was lost you were there, when i was down you were there, when i was
heartbroken you were there. When i got really sick you were there. ABA..ABA....,
hindi kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko?
I sent an angel 2 watch over u kanina returnd 2 me and said: "Grabe! ang cute niya!"
Binatukan ko nga! Umagang-umaga, laseng!
PATIENT: "doc can u give me an advise or medication 4 my pimples?
DOCTOR: "u can solve ur own problembt u must follow my advise"...
PATIENT: "wat advise?"
DOCTOR: "Pls eat some bananas..."
PATIENT: "Y bananas?"
DOCTOR: " can u bring me a monkey with a pimple?!!!!"
ERAP disguises himself, went to a mall 2 buy a TV.
ERAP: magkano itong TV miss?
SALESLADY: P8,000 po sir ERAP
ERAP: ha! PANO MO NALAMAN C erap AKO?
SALESLADY: microwave po kc yan, hindi TV
A frend is lyk a pillow, u can hug it when ur in trobol. U can cry on it when ur in
pain & u can embrace it when ur happy. Always remember dat if u need a frend,
BILI KA NG PILLOW.
Ito talaga si Lumen pag wala ang asawa imbes na VIBRATOR, TALONG ang gamit,
Sing-sarap pero di sing-mahal. Pagkatapos gamitin inihahalo sa PAKBET...WAIS!!!!
If u luv someone, set him free, if he doesn't come back, he's probably with me! heheh
We do it n da bedroom, we do it n da car. We do it standing, we do it sitting down.
Bt its mre cmfrtble doing it lying down!!!...haaayyy sarap tlagang magtxt!
if u r lonely and u nid sum1 just don't 4get dat der is sum1 here that is willing
2 help u wenever u needed help d most...wag langsa pera!
Isang Araw ang Mag-Ama
Anak: Itay magsasaing na ho ako, anong isasaing ko?
Ama: Matuto kang magsaing na walang sinaing
-Lumipas ang ilang oras at minuto.
Anak: Itay kain na ho tayo.
Ama: Anong kakainin natin eh wala kang sinaing?
matuto kayong kumain ng walang sinaing.....
Q: Why does Erap keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A: They are for those who don't drink.
Q: How do you confuse Erap?
A: Stick him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: Why was Erap proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months?
A: The box said "2 to 4 years!"
Q: Why does Erap always smile during lightning storms?
A: He thinks hispicture is being taken.
Isang MASARAP n araw sayo kaibigan! Nawa'y SIPSIPIN k ng gracia, DILDILAAN k ng
pagmmhal, PASUKAN k ng galak, at LABASAN k ng malas!
A very interesting theory: MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown
MENopause, ever notice how all women's problems starts with MEN?
Welcome to Smart sex services inquiry!!! Your current balance is 69, if you want
to know about oral sex - press 1, for anal sex inquiry - press 2, for oral sex
inquiry - press 3, for self sex inquiry - press yours!!! Thank you for using
Smart sex inquiry. Byeeeeee.
Let me kiss your lips; let me feel your teth, let me taste your tongue. SMILE.
This is your friend COLGATE reminds you to brush teeth.
Icing can make cake so sweet; air can make a balloon so high, a match can make
a candle so bright. I hope a simple text can make you smile.
Si Ate Shawi, gatas niya ALASKA, softdrinks niya COCA-COLA, ice cream niya
SELECTA, ulam niya CENTURY TUNA, kaya katawan niya SUPER FERRY na.
3 women were talking about their feminine wash. 1st woman; gamit ko lactacyd,
laging fresh. 2nd woman; ako betadine, antiseptic talaga. 3rd woman; sa akin
fit, ibabad mo lang for 3 minutes, ready to eat na.
Ipasok mo ng swabe baka dumugo, dahan-dahan mong isagad saka mo igiling,
saidin mo sa kaloob-looban saka mo hugutin, yan ang tamang pangungulangot.
A gang decided to rob a bank. They open every vault but found no money, only
cups of yogurt, they ate all the yogurt. Next day headline news: BIGGEST
SPERM BANK ROBBED.
Dying Chinese: ako lapit na patay, ikaw sabi totoo kung sino ama ng bunso natin
kasi siya iba mukha don sa 3 kapatid niya. Wife: wag ka galit siya lang tunay
mo anak.
Types of woman: Vulgar: oh shit! I'm coming, Racer: faster faster, Banker:
i-withdraw mo ha!, Diver: deeper deeper, Murderer: pag hinugot mo yan,
papatayin kita!!!
Husband and wife on honeymoon. H: kala ko ba virgin ka pa, bakit may gatas na?
(while sucking her breast). W: sorry honey, I forgot to tell you may pigsa
ako dyan.
There are these 3 words that I don't usually say to just anybody, yet I
choose to tell youcoz my heart says so: a CHRISTMAS GIFT.
I'm here at the police station right now, I was arrested for illegal
possession of cute face. When I was asked, I told I was guilty coz the
evidence is very clear.
How I wish I could see you today. I really miss you. I'll try to be there
after work, kaya lang with the traffic baka hindi ako umabot. Anong oras
ba magsasara ang ZOO?
Describe a mental patient: weird, out of control, rarely take a bath, very
much insane, looks terrible, smells awful, acts madly, holds a phone,
reading this message.
Ten Commandments in TEXT: 1.) wagpikon 2.) wagdedma 3.) wagbobo 4.) wagsend
(2x5) 5.) wagtagalreply 6.) wagcorny 7.) wagkulit 8.) wagaway 9.) wagnosens
10.) wagoffcelfon
People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous
ones, the smart ones...Kainis! They are looking for me!
Pinoy names converted to American names: Leon Mangubat - Tiger Woods;
Rogelio Dagdag - Roger Moore; Juanito Lakarin - Johnny Walker; Esteban
pagtakhan - Stevie Wonder.
French 102: CITY-ce vou, DRUGS-shavou, GOODBYE-vavvou, BALD-cal vou
CAUGHT IN THE ACT-na vou cou, FEATHERS-valje vou, NOT CLEAR-ma la vou,
CUTE-a couh.
When it's too quiet, you get lonely coz it makes your world condusive
for thinking of the sad past, misfortune, failed romance, problems:
Do yourself a favor, break the silence! UMUTOT KA!!!!!
Only the open heart receiveds LOVE! Only the open mind receives WISDOM.
Only the open arms receives GIFTS. Only the open legs receives
HAPPINESS!!!!
Anong Saging ang mataba? Saba, yung maliit? Señorita; yung
sinusubo pati balat? T? Sirit ka na? Esep! Esep! TURON!!! Huwag
esep sama.
I asked GOD to send me an angel, nice, humble, understanding, sweet,
perfect, & GOD sent me you: I asked GOD why you? GOD said SYSTEM
ERROR LANG ANAK, Y2K BUG KASI!!!
How is SEX related to MATH? Add two persons together, Minus the clothes,
Divide the legs & what do you get? SATISFUCKTION!!!
Tanong: Bakit mas malakas umutot ang mga lalake sa babae? Ans: Dahil
may MIKE sa harap. Tanong: Eh bakit naman may echo pag umutot ang
mga babae? Ans: kasi malapit sa kuweba.
Read this slowly: Fog must done knew see who one, tea knee gas sun.
The hill see in die who bought who bad. Bull ball knee in die money
peace. Gets mo?!!!
Girls Prayer: Now as you lay me down we mate. I lick your dick so long
I take. And if you should come before I do, I hope your tongue and
finger will see me through.
Happiness is not found at the end of the road. It is experienced
everytime you make a sudden turn. Welcome, Anito Lodge.
What is the difference between Cute and Feeling Cute? Cute is the
one who send this and Feeling Cute is the one reading this. Forward
mo para ikaw namana ang Cute!
In a woman's body, there are 4 rooms: 1st FACE-Showroom, 2nd BOOBS-
Playroom, 3rd STOMACH-Stockroom, 4th VAGINA-Mensroom.
Bakit may sabaw ang balot? Sagot: kung ikaw nga ang makulong sa
loob ng shell, saan ka iihi?
Name 5 Road Signal that best describe the female organ. Ans: 1: Deep
Excavation 2. Men at Work 3. Slippery when wet 4. Stop on Red Signal
5. Slowdown on Curves & Humps.
I stroke your neck and bite you gently. I held your breast & bit it
greedily then I licked lastly I spread your legs & felt the Heat...
OHHH!!! Ang Sarap....ng Max Fried Chicken.
3 men went to a bar & they watch striptease. Kario ipit 500..sa panty, Haron d Patatalo
ipit 1,000, Pinoy di siyempre patalo kuha Credit Card then swipe it
sa P*k**k.
Ang lasa ng muta: pag Mapait- may sakit ka sa Puso, Maasim- may sakit
ka sa bituka, pag Matamis-may sakit kang diabetes, pag tinikman mo-
may sakit ka sa utak.
NANAY: Sabihin mo sa tatay mo hilutin ako. ANAK: itay, itay tabi ni
nnay IYOTIN mo daw tya. TATAY: Sabihin mo wala ako sa mood.
ANAK: nnay! tabi ttay wala daw tya TAMOD.
I overheard someone telling things about you. Cute ka daw, Smart and...
Putcha!sinampal ko nga. Kung anu-anong kasinungalingan ang pinagkakalat
sayo. Ayun pinagtanggol kita.
Lesson No. 1. Patigasin 2. Lawayan 3. Itutok sa butas 4. Ipasok sa butas.
Simulan na ang pagko-cross stitch. Ano na naman ang iniisip mo?
return to top
HOME | PROFILE | CAST | PIX GALLERY | LINKS | ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Cyber Jologs®. All Rights Reserved 2002